I Think I'm Much Better Than That...

When a friend who you thought understands you turned out to be someone who doesn't, what are you gonna do? When that friend called you a really awful name, what are you gonna feel?

I was actually told by a friend that I am hypocrite. I was really angry that time. When I got home, the first thing I did was googled the meaning of hypocrite. You see, the reason why I did that is to justify that description. I thought to myself, maybe that description is not as bad as I thought it'll be.

Guess what I found out, it's much more worse than what I thought.

According to Merriam-Webster (www.merriam-webster.com), hypocrite means "a person who claims or pretends to have certain beliefs about what is right but who behaves in a way that disagrees with those beliefs".

That left me with the question - am I really doing things opposite of what I'm saying? At some point, I doubted myself. Sometimes, I tell people I'm happy or okay, even though I'm not. Is that hypocrisy? I pretend that I like someone, even though I don't. Is that hypocrisy? Are those reasons enough to call someone hypocrite? I don't really understand.

It's actually awful to hear that from a friend whom you trust. But what can I do. Though it hurts, that's her opinion. After hearing that, it taught me something of myself and something about that person. 

I know I'm not really a good person, but I actually believe that I am much more better than a hypocrite one.

Beginning

Because today is Sunday, and I opted not to do anything, though there's a long to-do list waiting for me, I turned to my old buddy Samsung phone and took a picture of my feet. (I got this idea from a couple's blog- I forgot the site nor their names.)

It's September again, and just a few months from now we'll be saying our bitter goodbyes to 2012 and welcoming 2013 with our sweetest smiles. Most of us will list their resolutions- again (hmmm... I wonder if they did their 2012 resolutions, because mine-- where did it go again?), and try their utmost effort to make those resolutions come true (applause).

Mine for now is to blog. Just blog about anything under the sun.

And, oh hey!, look at the time. It's two PM and I still need to finish my powerpoint for tomorrow's presentation.

'Til next time.

Ciao!

Inaccessible

Stand in front of the mirror and wonder who I'm seeing is pretty much a good way to mess up my psychological and emotional stability. Funny, but when I do that, I just realize how little I want others to know the REAL me and how high the walls I built surrounding myself.

It's so pitiful because no matter how open I am to someone- even to my bestest bestfriend, there will always be a part of me that I am not willing to share- that part will remain a secret between me and myself. Perhaps because I am afraid that it will be rejected. But whatever reason I have, that will always be a mystery - my very own mystery - that I need to solve.

Absurd? Not really. Whether we admit it or not, at some level, each of us has a part that is unreachable. We can share this part to our chosen few. But until then, it will be a part that is inaccessible to anyone.

Undo

[Delete Button]

Most of the time, I really wish LIFE has an undo function, or even delete button. We all know that there are some things in the past that are better left in the past. But life never works that way. The more we try to forget, the more it bugs our mind, and keeps on reminding us that one or two things we're trying so hard to delete.

We, as humans, can't do anything but wait for time to heal us. TIME is powerful. It enables us to forget, or pretty much numbs or lessen the pain. It helps us grow and mature. And most especially, it teaches us that some things in life don't come twice, and that leaves us with the idea to capture every moment, enjoy while it lasts, learn as much as we can, so that hopefully one day, we will be able to relate those moments to someone else.

Now, it begins...